Little spiders

My husband is returning tonight after being gone all week in Texas for work-related training. The first night he was away, a 4-year-old cutie arrived at my bedside at 3 a.m.

"Momma, can I snuggle?" she asked, her brow knit and wild brown curls everywhere. "There are wittle spy-duhrs in my bed."

Bella has a slight speech impediment (and she's not even the left-handed one). Is it wrong that I encourage it sometimes? I will be sad when it goes away, because doggone, it's adorable.

I told her to climb in on my husband's side, and she settled right down. In the morning, I leaned within inches of her face and watched her sleep for a few minutes. Wittle spyduhrs indeed.

But it's got me thinking about my own little imaginary spiders. Those breathlessly terrifying little things that skitter around in my head when I least expect it. With my hubby away, I have been having a horrible time sleeping - twice I have woken up in the middle of a medical nightmare. One dream involved an oncologist telling me that I was getting cancer again because I wasn't drinking enough water (I came fully awake at the bathroom faucet, gulping at the tap). The other one involved something similar, but thankfully, I didn't leave the bed for that one.

I turned 39 at the beginning of this week. People have been asking me: Was it a fabulous birthday? I had to tell them that I have honestly had better celebrations. My husband was away, and the week had been tough for other reasons. But after 2012, I told them, this birthday felt like a razor sharp blessing just the same. I think all future birthdays will feel that way! If the Lord wills, there will be a lot of them.

Then today, I got the worst kind of phone call. One of my dearest, true-blue friends is having a family crisis that is unbearably painful. The kind of turmoil that you cannot anticipate and will not go away in weeks or months. I told her that I love her and would be by her side, no matter what. She could call me any time - daily, day or night, many times a day and I am praying for her. I ached with how much I just wanted to get on a plane and hold her in my arms.

I realized later - I had voiced to my friend what God does for me daily. And for all of us who trust Him! He is at my side, and will not leave me. He is accessible daily, day or night, many times a day. I talk to God often, but sometimes ... in the middle of the night ... I forget that He's still right there and He's not going anywhere. He is an awesome, all-mighty, most excellent spider killer that way.

This Friday, I am meeting with my oncologist for the first time since last October. It was a routine, post-treatment appointment but now that the whole spinal mass thing has happened, we'll have plenty to talk about. I have been steeling myself for this appointment in case I hear stuff I don't want to hear, but after today's phone call, all those thoughts seem really, really ... little. God has got this, just like He has that family, in the palm of His hand.

On Sunday, we did all things "T" for my kids' Sunday school class - and this week's memory verse is so apt. It's one I've mentioned before - I've sure come to understand it a lot better these last many months:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Amen.