When am I done with cancer?

It has been almost a month since my bilateral mastectomy, and I revel daily in a life that includes healing fingernails, increased upper body mobility and visible eyelashes and eyebrows. Wonderfully missing are weekly blood draws and all that great chemo stuff.

My next doctor appointments are at the end of this month. I will be seeing my surgeon so she can check my post-mastectomy mobility; currently, I am still working on fully extending my arms upward. The surgical drains were removed shortly after my last blog post. They had malfunctioned a bit, so I had to go in for three office visits to get fluid aspirated from my chest. Thankfully that process is done!

Earlier this week on a crisp, sunny autumn afternoon, the girls and I went to the playground after school. Kate was headed up a grassy hill when she turned and asked, "Mom - when are you done with breast cancer?"

I told her that I was all done with my chemo treatments and surgery - so that meant we were finished with it. What she was really wondering, it turned out, was when my hair was going to look like it did pre-chemo. I told her: About a year.

However, I felt like I had just told my little girl a lie. When she asked when I would be done with cancer, a clear voice whispered in my head, "Never."

I wondered: Had I heard the voice of discouragement or reality? Because of this breast cancer, it has turned my "normal" life upside down. Although I am "cancer free" at this point, I have made some daily lifestyle changes to give me the best chance of keeping that junk gone. I strongly believe that God has an ongoing purpose for this cancer. If it's His desire, I will walk that road of treatment and physical havoc again but I desperately hope not.

Hear my cry, Lord: I pray that I am done with cancer and You would allow me to live a life that doesn't include it again. I trust You and have peace that You have got this covered no matter what.

My heart prays that prayer often and I take comfort knowing that fretting is futile, anyways.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

However, my faith in God also doesn't mean that I am eating Ho-Hos and hanging out on the couch well into the wee hours of the morning. I've made some changes to help keep me physically strong.

The first is regular exercise - real make-time-for-it exercise (not let's-take-a-walk-to-the-mailbox-and-call-it-good kind of stuff). In preparation for my surgery last month, I was walking several miles each week. I relished in the resulting increased stamina! Once I am healed up, I plan to resume those terrific walks.

My diet is also a lot different. My pre-cancer noshing was pretty doggone good ... if you only counted dinner. I was notorious for eating toast for breakfast and then drinking coffee for the rest of the day. Now I eat oatmeal with fruit every morning and have an actual lunch.

The third big change is adequate rest at night. I was also infamous for dropping into bed at midnight so I could have my post-kid quiet time.

These are healthy changes and I make them with gladness. I wish that they didn't remind me daily that I am fighting against a recurrence of cancer, but on the other hand, I am alive and our family is looking ahead with hope. Powerful blessings indeed.