Provision

Chemo No. 13: All done, baby!

It was a very full treatment room yesterday - there are about a dozen comfy recliners positioned in a large circle and they were all full. Most all of the folks I see each week are in their 60s and 70s - and while I wish that NO ONE had to do battle with this crud, I feel gladness that I am not surrounded by people my age and younger each time.  I would much rather current and future "seat warmers" are spared this junk as loooooooooong as possible - well after watching their kids graduate, get married and have babies of their own.

And yet as soon as I write that I ask: How can I say that about myself? I feel so strongly that there is a purpose for this in my own life - I am on my face in thankfulness at how God is bringing us through this with a heaping measure of grace and love.

Like last night. After the girls went to bed, I went to town and picked up some groceries. I did not bother to spiff up, and it had been a long day of chemo and driving - and I have given up thinking that it's not incredibly obvious that I'm bald! As I was checking out with my groceries, I saw a woman in my peripheral view coming at me quickly. She had already checked out and was leaving the grocery store, but was making a bee line to me. "Excuse me," she said. She didn't sound happy. I didn't look up, hoping she was actually talking to the person behind me. "EXCUSE ME," she said again, stopping a couple feet away.

She was holding out a coupon she had just received for 10 dollars off my entire grocery order.

"God bless you," she said. I had no idea who this person was. I took the coupon. I could feel myself choking up. I thanked her and repeated her words to her, with the emphasis on "you."

But I also say: Thank you, God.

Tonight someone dropped by some freshly caught salmon. Thank you, God.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been blessed by so many people that live near and far. When I initially started this blog entry (at 3 a.m. - post-chemo sleeplessness got me again starting at 2 a.m.), I rambled through several paragraphs about this. For brevity, here are bullets instead:

• The blessed sleep I have gotten throughout this week - I know this is a result of people praying for me, because I haven't slept this unusually well since Jan. 8 (the day before I found out I about the "big C"). Thank you, God - I loved the sleep.
• That amazing team of wimmin' who ran in my honor at the 20th Annual Alaska Women's Run. Thank you, God - the encouragement was powerful;
• A letter that read as a giant hug, along with a check for "pampering," from the dear couple who married us. Thank you, God - that will be so enjoyed;
• This cup from a sweet friend who has loved me and our girls with equal love and devotion through this process. Thank you, God, for this friend and for not smiting Star Trek in all its infinite dorkiness;
• A fabulous sweatshirt proclaiming my tough Alaska chick status (in deep, glorious pink - so there should be no confusion that I'm a girl NOW). The accompanying letter made me laugh! Thank you, God, for that chortle;
• Two more wonderful cards - both containing words of strong encouragement and one containing a couple packets of facial/foot scrubs that will be put to good use. I also received an email from an amazing friend who has been sending me cards that have made me smile all along the way. Thank you, God, for people taking precious time to write;
• A steadfast friend who made time to have coffee with me following treatment yesterday - she had been having a tough couple of weeks herself, and yet she made time for me. Thank you, God, for her generosity of time;
• An email from a terrific friend who has walked the cancer walk herself, telling me that I do not have lung cancer. She explained that one of her lasting side effects from her chemo has also been a dry cough. Thank you, God, for calming my worries. 

This is just the tip of the iceberg - these bullets are ways people have supported and loved us in just the last couple of weeks. We were recently asked if we had learned "one big thing" through this process. For me, it's been experiencing God's very real daily grace and perfect provision during a desperate time, with so much of this provision coming through people's actions.